In the beginning there was this
dog that barked & did not bark. (Or
maybe it was a cat?) Some number
of years later (I forget), a tiny
object (in Michigan?), a million
times smaller than the width of an
eyelash, was observed doing the
mashed-potato with another small
item somewhere really far away,
like Osaka, or maybe it was Utah.
So like, now it turns out that the
expansion of the universe, Doppler-
gangered to form the bedrock of
latter-day cosmology, is, itself,
actually, like, accelerating?
...at which point someone way in the
back jokes that Republicans are just
Democrats in decline (or maybe it's
the other way around?) and even the
shocking dissonance of the New Music
becomes predictable before modernity
"shits the bed," leaving us with all
the same-old same-old unanswered
questions about life/death & etc.
You might wonder (adding human
dimension to the mystery) how all
this could be remotely tangential to
the price of tomatoes in Pancake Flats,
not realizing that this, too, is among
the prickly issues confronting cutting-
edge (future Nobel-laureate) researchers
in the field of Paradoxical Anomalies.
Speculation, with no further information
available, is most certainly moot, but
your call is important to us! Please
do not be dismayed. Simply allow your
curiosity to flap its stubby little wings
in the face of overwhelming immensity.
Press 1 for more options, or say the
word "macaroni" into the handset of
your telephone.
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